Great Tips To Stop Social Media From Destroying Your Relationship
Social media is a very powerful medium in which people interact, share their stories, experiences, activities and so on… In today’s world, social media had become a top priority in people’s life, as a matter of fact, everything we tend to do evolves around social media, like the Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp, There is no single individual that is of age that is not in one of these social platforms.
The things we see daily as we scroll through our timeline or pages on these platforms influences our daily lives and mindset and therefore put so much pressure on us for those who are really carried away by what we see. Majority of relationships today have been ruined by social media, social media has really been a bad influence to our relationship life.
When I go through my social media handles, I see stories of people and their relationship affairs, they display all kinds of fun activities with their partner, people getting engaged, some other getting married, these is a good feeling I must say, it’s nice to see people in healthy relationships but do not be overwhelmed by these displays, they might actually not be 100 perfect, no relationship is 100 percent, there must be ups and downs but the ability to solve issues that come up as soon as they come up makes it a healthy relationship. You should note that, as you display your love and affection on social media, there are people out there who get envious about your relationship and wish to bring it down , so you should be very careful.
Some other people display their baby bump, massive display of fun activities, some go as far as announcing the money spent on their activities, these are what we easily see on social media.
After we see some of these loving gesture displayed on social media, we begin to compare our relationship with others, we begin to wish our boyfriends or girlfriends do same with us, and when your lover doesn’t do same you begin to thing he/she doesn’t love you. Do not be carried away by such, when you do, you are actually running your relationship
Of course I will not say it’s a bad thing to expect so much from your boyfriend or girlfriend in your relationship, everyone wants and deserves a good thing in life, as a matter of fact when you perform the nicest things in your relationship, it makes it enjoyable, fun and healthy. When you compare your relationship with others you may be ruining your relationship because not all that glitters is gold, they may only display the good side of their relationship on social media and leave the bad side out of viewers.
When you begin to see these perfect side displayed on social media you begin to have high expectations and most of these expectations are on the high side and may be unrealistic on your partner and even your relationship as a whole.
Let me give you a good example, Probably on a Valentine’s Day, you saw your friend(male) and his girlfriend whom you live on the same street, decorating their mansion with beautiful flowers, then a perfect display of the girl walking down right from the ground floor towards the main building, as a matter of fact the steps were filled with roses on the floor, candle lights display and several other decorations, then cool and lovely music begins to play as she walked into the main building.
You can imagine this kind of display of love, you will be very envious of this kind of love and affectionate display and wish yours was same. Instantly you will begin to have negative mindset about your partner and the feeling that he doesn’t love you, But as the day goes by, towards bedtime you begin to hear quarrel and fight coming out from the building that you think everything was rosy and lovely. What am trying to say is that, you shouldn’t be moved by what you see, but in your own little way try as much as possible to make your relationship enjoyable and live happily ever after.
To be honest with you, majority of what you see on social media are not real, comparing your relationship with what you see will only make you have a negative mindset about yourself, your partner and your relationship. Who told you, you must have a million dollar before you can have a lovely relationship, that’s is a wrong perspective about relationship affairs, the moment you begin to think that way, you are gradually ruining your relationship.
Another problem we have is what we see social media influencers and celebrities do online, comparing your wealth and relationship lifestyle with that of celebrities, this is totally wrong. Do you think because they are celebrities they are entitled to a perfect relationship? No, if they don’t work towards making their relationship a healthy one, it won’t be healthy, we all have a duty to perform for our relationship to work for us, and most times we see these celebrities practice love affairs in movies especially in soap operas and we think that’s how relationship work, am not saying you can’t make your relationship as wonderful as that but there are things you need to put in place, it doesn’t just work overnight.
As you begin to compare your relationship with others because of what you see on social media, you begin to loose interest if what you see is not happening in your relationship, jealousy begins to set in, you begin to nag and complain about your partner for not doing what you see your friends, followers or fans do, and this will make your lover feel undervalued and unappreciated and this could also lead to depression. Social Media will make you feel you are not on the right track or with the wrong person, as a matter of fact you begin to loose interest in your lover and wish other people’s boyfriend or girlfriend become yours
These kinds of feeling are actually what bring Relationships to an end even before you actually begin to understand yourselves. For a new relationship, before you start comparing your relationship with others you should at least understand your partner, what he likes and dislikes, his fun activities, infact there are 100 Questions You Should Ask Your Partner before and during a relationship, everyone cannot follow the same path to a successful relationship, what works for others might not work for you, so you should define your path.
When you appreciate your partner for the little things he/she does, they will be very happy to do more, you should be able to know and understand his financial abilities, there are a lot of things he would want you to have but he is limited by finance but that does not mean you can’t have a successful and happy relationship.
When you understand the kind of partner you have, you will be satisfied because you fully know he loves you and would do anything to make you happy not trying to compare him to others who spent thousands of dollars and display them on their social media platform. Am not saying is not good to display your lifestyle or relationship affairs on social media but what you should look after is the impression you are trying to create on the minds of of people, you feel you have a geniune interest but there are people out there who will envy you for no just reason.
Social Media creates jealousy and uncertainty in your relationship, jealousy can easily destroy everything you have built within a very short period of time. Jealousy leads to insecurities, you begin to check his or her phone to know who she chats with on social media, and if it happens to be with opposite sex, you think she is already having an affair with such person which might not really be true.
This happens alot where partners have to monitor themselves to make sure they aren’t cheating on each other. Your phone should be your privacy, if you truly love your partner, there’s nothing to hide from him/her but on the other hand if you have nothing to hide why restrict your partner from having access to your phone. It’s on social media you begin to have diversification of thoughts if to accept that person that has been troubling you to be his lover or stick to your partner.
If you are in a serious relationship with someone you truly love, there is an option of unfollowing or deleting certain people on your friend list that you know would be a problem to you and your relationship. Okay fine, you want to interact with family members and close friends on social media that’s why you had to create one, do you know that you must surely receive text and request from unknown people but if you are true to yourself and your partner, you won’t accept such request from outsiders because if you don’t have strong will, they can pull you down.
Social Media can create a low self esteem when you begin to compare yourself with others and you think you are not good enough for your boyfriend or husband. Some people naturally have a low self esteem but for others it comes up when they try to measure up to standards with people they see daily or across social media platforms. When you begin to have low self-esteem in your relationship, it can ruin your relationship because you will create a bad impression about yourself towards others making you feel like you aren’t good enough for them.
I was going through my timeline on Facebook and I came across a post by a lady that was narrating how her relationship with her boyfriend came to an end due to a silly mistake she made. On the post she wrote ” Few weeks back i posted a picture of my boyfriend to celebrate his birthday, my best friend messaged me to know who he was, I responded without having a negative mindset, few months later my best friend is my boyfriend’s wife”. In this type of situation, I wouldn’t say her best friend was a betrayal or a bad person, but she wasn’t cautious enough to know what’s going on in her relationship. Social Media can ruin your relationship faster than you can imagine. Your private affairs should be kept private, in my point of view I think the boyfriend must have been having a second thought on the relationship of which she doesn’t know about, so when her best friend came into the picture, he saw it as an opportunity to let go of her and go into a relationship with her best friend.
Another way social media can ruin your relationship is giving you a wrong impression about what you feel or think about life generally and not just on relationships alone, as we go through life, each one of us have a different perspective about life, we all see life differently but as we go through social media, we begin to match up what we feel or think about life with others, (see also 20 Reasons Why Girls Ignore You On Social Media Chat) we might be on the right track as we see life positively because of our environment, religious and family background but due to the fact that we are all on social media with everyone posting what he/she feels about life, we begin to see life differently, as a matter of fact social media influences alot. If we love the traditional way of engagement or getting married but when we see a whole new style of how things are been done, we begin to have a second thought on how we do things. In the relationship, your lover may not like certain things that is been done by people but because they want to make you happy.
Another way social media can ruin your relationship is through comments and suggestions, of you are the type that is easily influence by why people say then a social media post isn’t right for you. There is a two way about this comments and suggestions on social media, one is about social media post and comments while the other is on people’s comments and view on other people’s post.
The first, for example, when you and your partner go out on a date in a place that’s not to flashy and you go onto social media to post with these caption “Hey everyone, I had the best outing so far”, do you know because the place is not so flashy, you will receive some comments, castigating you for going out with your lover in such a place and displaying it on social media, when you see such comments you begin to have a negative mindset about the whole outing, it will make you feel the outing was not good enough. But do you also know that most people who castigate you are not actually as good as you are but they just feel social media is a platform to express yourself both positively and negatively.
The second, for example, when yo go through other people’s post, you see flashy pictures of their outing and when you read comments, you see lovely comments and views of people, you get excited over it and wish your partner does same but you never care to think if actually your lover have what it takes financially to make it a reality. In other words, social media places unrealistic expectations on relationships.
The most common types of post you see on social media are the ones that actually distract us, even some people who haven’t post on their social media platform for over a year or two will run down to login just to post their special moments. For example someone post pictures of her engagement ring and you begin to feel it’s right time for your partner to propose to you, you begin to mount pressure on him which is not a good way to live your relationship life. You should be able to examine yourself if you are ready for a relationship and not because most of your folks online and offline are engaged and getting married so you want to feel among the large crowd. There is always a time for everything, if everyone one is doing the same thing at the same time doesn’t make it the right thing or the right time for everyone. Relationship unto marriage is a huge responsibility and not just something you do in a rush, if not, it will end in disappointment. Going through your timeline and seeing all those blissful moments is a good thing but it simply means it will get to your turn, when you see lovely post by people today, tommorow people will see yours too rather that allowing social media to give you unnecessary pressure.
Another way social media can ruin your relationship is trying to forcefully make your partner feel he or she must post your pictures on their private account. On your birthday, you want him to post your picture on his personal account, when you wear a new dress you want him to post your picture also. Your lover or partner should be able to post your pictures on his account without breathing down his neck. If you begin to do this, you will be self sabotaging your relationship. To be realistic, a person who loves you should be able to post your pictures on his timeline but that should be done willingly and not by force.
There are certain post we see on social media and we tend to bring it into our relationship life for example, have you ever come across a post like “If you are female and don’t have control over your family then you are a slave” I mean there are certain post we would see on Facebook and you begin to imagine yourself as been devalued in your relationship, if you don’t have strong will and power over your thoughts and actions, when you see post like this, it will influence you negatively, you would want to start taking full control of your partner, you begin to feel your partner should be subjected to you at all times which is not good for you and your relationship.
You should never make the mistake of making your partner feel you want total control in the relationship, most people don’t like to be in total subjection to anything or anyone, if your partner don’t post your pictures on his social media handle may simply mean he or she is not a social media kind of person or probably a low key type of person but that does not mean he/she doesn’t love you, you should try and understand who your partner is.
Social Media can ruin and also build your relationship depending on how you use it. Am not in total condemnation of social media but the truth is this, if you are the kind of person that is easily influence by social media, keep your relationship affair far away from it. If you feel your relationship is not leading to where it ought to have, you should talk with your partner and let things work among you guys but if peradventure you guys can’t iron out these issues then you should let go of the relationship. Do not allow social media to influence your relationship, what you should understand is that people only post the good and blissful side of them and neglect the ugly ones, so you should take note of that, the things we mostly see are unrealistic and should not be taken seriously.
You should learn to appreciate your partner for what he or she does and in that way he/she tends to do more.
Have your relationship been ruined by social media or you think you are been influenced negatively by social media which is destroying your relationship, why not talk to me for help. You can contact me through the contact page or post a comment below.