Relationship is best enjoyed when you are with right person, it makes your mind be at peace and living a more fulfilled life. Relationship are not what we rush into, there are things we need to put in place to make our relationship a healthy one.
A right partner will do everything possible to ensure you are okay and enjoying a relationship with him but where you don’t that means there is a problem and there are certain things you have not put on your relationship to make it exactly what you want.
A new relationship will have it’s up and down, as a matter of fact there is bound to be certain things that will happen, you just have to stay strong and ensure those things are not a problem for you. Even relationships that have lasted for a long period of time, partners still feel insecure, so it’s not something you should be afraid as a beginner but you should look for ways to ensure its not a problem.
As a beginner in your relationship, the first step to take is to try and as much as possible to build confidence, trust, honesty, in this way you will feel secure, if both partner practice this with all sincerity, I don’t see been insecure as a problem.
Well, in this article i will be discussing 12 ways you can make yourself feel very secure in your relationship. All you need do is relax, take your time and read through the text and ensure you practice them in order to save your relationship because feeling insecure in your relationship could actually sabotage it.
But First Lets see some of the Signs of Insecurity in a relationship.
- You Become Very Unhappy About Your Relationship:
On a normal circumstances you are suppose to be happy for your partner for every accomplishment he has made be it small or big but because you are feeling insecure you tend to be unhappy. You feel you are not good enough for him, you also feel you are not doing enough to make him appreciate you in the relationship.
The moment you begin to feel awkward about sharing in your partner’s joy and happiness, this is a clear sign that you are lacking self-confidence, and most especially this happens when you try to equate your success and achievements with him, so you are afraid his success will surpass yours, that is when Insecurity begins to drive in. This is not good for your relationship, quit such habit now.
- It leads to Jealousy:
Jealousy is a product of insecurity, you will begin to feel jealous of your partner when you see him with other people especially in a very lively and happy moments. You will begin to feel when your partner is with other people he might loose interest in you and concentrate on others.
As a matter of fact this causes low self-esteem because you begin to feel you are not worthy of his love, do you often think or wonder if your partner truly loves you, then this is a sign of insecurity which brings about jealousy most especially when he is with friends and family memebers.
- You Are Not Contented with the love your partner show you:
When your partner truly loves you is a very good thing, but when you are not contented with the love your partner shows you because you always want more our of insecurity can be very dangerous on your relationship, you begin to put pressure on him and make him do things out of his own will.
When you begin to doubt his words or you always want a reassurance before you are satisfied with anything he says to you, then you begin to put him in a position where he begins to feel you are doubting him for his true love, sincerity, and affection towards you. You must believe in what he says and be contented with what he has to offer, when you don’t, it’s a sign of insecurity.
- You Are Constantly Afraid of Loosing Them:
This is a big sign of insecurity when you always want to be around them, and when you are not with them you feel you might loose them. If the thought of staying without your partner for a long time makes you feel anxious then its a sign you are not secure in your relationship.
If you are the kind of person that feels this way, then long distance relationship is not good for you. Well, long distance relationship is not that easy for everyone because there are lots of ups and downs you may likely face but it is important to note that if will survive you will survive.
For the fact that you are not always with your partner or better still he is most times away from you doesn’t mean the relationship is not working, it doesn’t mean the earth will stand still, you have to be confident in yourself and not make yourself feel like if they are not there you probably shouldn’t exist, no, it’s a wrong perception about relationship.
- You think to quit the relationship even when nothing is wrong.
A negative mindset and thinking will surely make you feel insecure. Although you might be happy in your relationship but when you begin to overthink it’s going to gradually take over you and you begin to do things an insecure person does.
When you doubt your abilities, fear begins to drive in, you begin to think of a way to quit your relationship. This mostly happens when there are challenges and you feel you cant handle them, you have only allow self-doubt to take over you which will only offer you one direction “to quit”.
- Low self-esteem can cause insecurity.
When you feel you are not up to standard or to be the kind of person your partner truly likes, then insecurity begin to fill your thoughts. Most especially when you see your partner with the opposite sex, you think they are having extra-marital affairs.
Let’s see some of ways to stop insecurity and be confident.
12 Ways To Erase Insecurity and Be Confident In Your Relationship.
- Have A Positive Mindset: When i mean by positive mindset, I mean having the mindset on a daily basis to ensure your relationship. Having this positive affirmation within you that you own your relationship and every action you take should be for the better of the relationship. You decide what and how you want your relationship to be and also list out steps you could take to make it a reality. Having this mindset actually builds your confidence and makes you feel secure.
- Have A Plan: Another way you could actually build confidence in your relationship and remove any form of insecurity is to have a plan. Look at your relationship presently what is lacking and what you can actually add to make it productive. You should have set targets you ought to achieve within a fixed period of time and work towards it. For example you can decide that “okay, in the next 2 years am having my first child” and this plan should include your partner because it also helps you both get intimate.
Please note: A relationship without plan will lead to pain…
- Create Excitement and remove boredom: Yes, for every relationship that’s is not exciting there is a possibility of boredom which leads to break in relationship. When you and your partner do things in common like having fun, going out, crack jokes, or see movies together. These things will make your relationship exciting and erase any form of insecurity, so you should try as much as possible to have nice time with your partner, if this is genuinely done, you will definitely be confident in yourself, your partner, and also your relationship.
In the beginning of the relationship, remember you once had confidence in yourself and your partner, so look at your present relationship and what’s making you loose this confidence which make you make you feel insecure.
- Have A Clearer Picture: When you have a positive and clear picture of how your relationship is, it builds confidence and erase any form of insecurity. When you feel anything you want to achieve in your relationship is possible then you should be confident in it. As a matter of fact Confidence leads to high self esteem rather insecurity leads to low self esteem.
READ ALSO: HOW TO BUILD YOUR SELF ESTEEM QUICKLY
- Engaging Yourself: Engaging yourself with activities in the home or your relationship makes you feel accepted. For example, if there is any problem in the home, you ensure the problem was well handled, this build your confidence. If you consistently engage in activities in the relationship you are actually building Confidence, as a matter of fact, your partner begins to confide in you and seek your help in difficult times. Do you think if you are a problem solver in the home, there will any cause of feeling insecure?? No way.
But if peradventure, when you are most times needed in the relationship and you are no where to be found, then you creating a possibility of breakup or feeling of insecurity in your relationship.
- Take Your Relationship Seriously: The way or manner which you handle your relationship will determine how far you will go, you cannot be in a relationship and not take measures to make it work, it will definitely not work. It’s been said that “Action speaks louder than voice” talking and talking alone will not build your confidence rather the actions you take will determine how well your relationship will be.
So, for you to be confident, make confident choices towards the positive growth of your relationship. As a matter of fact, when you are confident in yourself, there are certain decisions you can make without consulting the opinion of your partner because your partner believes in you and any decision you take is okay.
- Communication is very important: To build confidence and stop feeling insecure, communication is a other way that can help you through. When you communicate with your partner, you tend to know certain things he has in mind, his plans will be made known to you. If you don’t communicate with your partner, you won’t know when he is disappointed in the relationship.
A positive response and impression from your partner will determine if you are safe and secure, and a negative one will show insecurities which means you have certain things to fix in the relationship. In communicating with your partner, you share your pains, express your feelings, and what you plan to do in confidence. As a matter of fact, your partner should be your number one supporter, and when this happens, it builds your confidence and erase any form of insecurity.
- Don’t start what you don’t like: This most times happens in new relationship, when you begin your relationship do not start what you can’t contain, it’s the best time to let your partner know what you like and dislike because the moment you start pretending to like everything your partner likes and hate what your partner hates you are actually creating a problem for yourself.
There will come a time when you have to prove what you like or dislike and when you can’t defend yourself you will loose confidence and feel insecure. As a matter of fact, apart from loosing confidence you will be sabotaging your relationship and make your partner not to trust you.
In other words, you should learn to be truthful at all times.
- Be Grateful to your partner: Be thankful for everything your partner does to you. If you have anything to complain to him, you should first appreciate him for all he has been doing for you before you politely tell him what you have to say. Love is the greatest of all, when you are been loved by your partner, he/she can do anything for you, so you wouldn’t want to sabotage the love rather you would want him to build confidence in you. So another way to build confidence is to learn how to love and appreciate your partner.
- Intimacy: You have to be intimate with your partner to bud confidence, in that way you would know his recent decisions and plan towards you and the relationship. Everything is not all about been intimate in bed but you could plan an outing, seeing a movie. Intimacy is about bring you both closer to each other than before. So if you are intimate with your partner you would know his plans which will on the long run build your confidence.
Lets look at this, been intimate with your partner will make him reveal I’d he is having extra-marital affairs but when you are not intimate with him you begin to feel insecure when you suspect such.
- Excersing also play a role in building your confidence: You feel better physically when you exercise, it boost your hormones, and it also make your mood always active. When you feel over-weight, regular excersing will help reduce fat. You probably have studied your partner and knows what he likes in terms of stature, if you feel he likes the slim type of woman, you should work on yourself to make him feel attractive physically to you and when he does it makes you feel secure.
- Deal with your emotions: Emotions tend to play a large part in our lives, you should be able to handle emotional situations with maturity. If there is anything bothering you, you should seek out ways to clear them off, having so many things disturbing your life especially your relationship life, it will make you feel disturbed and not able to concentrate.
When you are emotionally imbalance you will have this feeling of insecurity, as a matter of fact you loose confidence in yourself, it makes you feel better over anything that comes your way which is not a good way to build confidence especially in your relationship. Try as much as possible to deal with emotional stress as it comes your way in order to be sound mentally, it helps alot.
You should have a proper eating habits and also learn to take in fruits it helps the hormones in terms of stress and building energy.
Having discussed several ways to build up confidence and stop Insecurity, you shod follow this principles to ensure its done, the feeling of insecurity is not good in a relationship, as a matter of fact your relationship will be be shambled when you don’t have confidence in yourself, your partner or relationship.
If you have any comments or suggestions, please drop them below or if you need a counselor, contact me through the various platforms provided in the “contact us” page.